The first time I saw her and heard her name I became surprised. How was it that an American woman was volunteering her time at our seminary? Hence, I went to her and sought permission to interview her; of course she replied in good-heartedness. She is 37 years old and originally from California. Twenty-five years have passed since she converted to Islam, currently she lives in Mashhad and her husband is Iranian. Si I asked her, “How did you convert to Islam?” and she began her story.
“Through my mother’s words and guidance I became Muslim. After the victory of the Islamic Revolution in Iran in 1979, the way was paved for disseminating information about Islam in the USA. At that time my mother was a nursing student. At her university, there were tables that students used to present information about their various faiths and ideologies, such as Islam, socialism, communism and so on. My mother heard all of their opinions. Over a period of one year, my mother researched and visted various places and then decided to change her religion and become Muslim. At that time she did not tell us or her relatives that she converted to Islam and so secretly prayed her ritual prayers and did her other acts of worship. Due to the death of our father we lived with our maternal grandmother. Our grandmother is a very traditional woman with biased views and so she would not allow her daughter to easily convert to Islam. Even to the extent that she willingly paid all of her grandchildren’s education expenses so that they could attend Catholic school in order to become familiar with their Catholic religion. During this time my mother began speaking to us about towheed , the divine attributes (of God) and of God’s strength. Indirectly she spoke of these matters and about God’s compassion and greatness, but she never mentioned any religion.”
Aside from your mother’s words, what other factors influenced you to select Islam? Did you see any weak points in Catholicism? Didn’t Catholicism encourage you?
“In my Catholic school once a week we had a religion class and in this class the teacher said that God is divided into three parts. This was questionable for me since dividing God into three parts would make God weak. I spoke my opinion to my teacher and she went into a deep thought and couldn’t address my doubts, but then she said, “You must go to the church and in front of a priest ask for forgiveness.” I told her, “No problem, I will repent, but first give me an answer.”
So the spirit of asking and searching for the truth, which is in every human, drew you towards Islam, correct?
Yes. Also the role of my mother was key and strong in this regard. One day my mother gathered me and my siblings around her and said, “These words that I said about God, morals, and chastity was not regarding the Catholic religion. These are from the religion of Islam and Islam means submission. Submission to God, not submission to one’s carnal desires!” She continued, “I have converted to Islam and I want to start wearing the Islamic covering, but I will not force you to become Muslim and I allow you to be free (to choose your religion).” At first we were shocked, but when our mother left us alone we pondered over her words. After speaking with each other, we also decided to become Muslims. After converting to Islam, the harassments of our friends and family began. They cut their relations with us so that we felt dejected and lonely in our own city. After some time we had no friends or family to communicate with! Thus we eventually migrated to another city then to another country. Initially we moved to a small city in the US, but because it had many Muslims my mother decided we should stay. We lived in that city until I got my dilopma and then we migrated to the holy city of Qom, in Iran. My sister and I went to the Islamic seminary. My sister completed her studies, but I married and left my studies to join my husband who was at that time in the. After three children and completing our studies we decided to move to Iran.
One of the Islamic social aspects is hijab, did you have any problems in Us? What was the reaction of your relative when you started to wear hijab?
The first time I wore the hijab to school I was really happy. I thought my friends would be happy to see me. However, when I was met with silence and stares when I got in the school bus I was afraid and shocked at their reaction. The driver told me to either sit down or get off the bus. The door was still open for and for a second I thought of running out, but then I thought, "What am I going to do tomorrow or the day after that? After all I had to go to school and with the hijab. So I prayed to God to guide me towards an empty sit, which was in the last row. I felt my legs becoming shaky and when I eventually sat down a boy in the bus pointed at me and said out loud, "Look at her! She wrapped a rag around her head and came to school!" The whole bus of students started to laugh. From that day until the last day of school they threw trash at me and even spat at me.
May God reward you for all the harassments you have tolerated. Thank God nowadays Islam has expanded in the western countries especially the United States. What do you think is the main reason for Shia expansion in the US?
I think the main reason is the mourning the Muslims do in the holy month of Muharram. It’s really interesting for Americans and has a great influence on them. Americans are not emotional and we don’t always show our emotions. Actually it is because of the American culture that people are like this. It has put in the minds of the people that there is nothing in this world worth so much that one would sacrifice their lives for. When I was faced with such a scene (during the morning ceremonies in Muharram), I felt something inside of me; a feeling which I couldn’t explain. It was a spiritual feeling which I had yet to experience. Imam Hossain (PBUH) had touched me and my family's hearts. We had questions in our minds, like who is Imam Hossain (PBUH) and what happened to him? In one of these Muharram programs, which we were invited to by a Muslim woman, we talked and questioned the ideology of Shia and Imam Hossain (PBUH) and after some months of researching we announced that we accepted the Shia faith. Before that we didn’t know that there were two Islamic sects.
Around the same time that you became Muslim the Iraq-Iran War was taking place. Since your husband is Iranian what have you heard about the war? What’s your opinion about it?
During the Iraq-Iran War, we heard some interesting stories which we thought were fantasies. For example, someone told us about Shahid Fahmideh. When we heard his story it was really hard to believe; it was like a fairy tale. I remember my brother saying how could a young boy sacrifice his life for his people? We would hear about Khorramshahr and Khalapche and the inhumane use of chemical weapons by Saddam on the innocent people as well. As a human being it was and still hard to comprehend how governments or soliders can could inflict such inhumane treatment on others; all for the sake of worldly gains like oil, regional control, etc…
A person who just converted to Islam needs information and feedback. How did you find this information and feedback?
One day I was talking to God with the depths of my heart and I told him, "Please help me! I accepted the hijab. I know it is the best way of life. But what is the philosophy of hijab? How should my hijab be (according to the true Islam)? Really there wasn’t any one to ask and no books to read. One day after school when I arrived home my mother told me that we received a package from the mail. I asked where did it come from and she said it’s from Iran. When we opened it we saw that the Islamic Propogation Organization (of Iran) sent us some English books that were written by Shahid Motahari, Dr. Shariati, and Shahid Bohanar and Beheshti. I was only a teenager, but since I was really eager to expand my knowledge about Islam I read all of these books. Unfortunately it was really hard going to school, (especially with the hijab). I talked to my mom so she can help me out and she told me that God is the one who guided us so He isn’t going to forget about us. there were some sisters who told us you can just easily take your scarf off in school and put it back on after it. That’s when I understood that what they were saying wasn’t what God or Islam has said; rather there advice was based on their whims. They just said that so that everyone could have an easily time in this world.
In your opinion what’s the reason for governments to be against Islam? Why do some countries fight severely against Islam?
Islamophobia in different countries takes on different forms. For example in Turkey they are afraid of Islam because they know how the power of Islamic unity is and moreover they don’t want to be like Iran and have Islamic laws. But in countries like France which are socialists, they even don’t let the Christian sisters (nuns) wear their hijab, because their aim is to make everyone in the country to be similar. That is how a socialist thinks. They think that if everyone adopts a similar way of thinking the country, then its people will be at peace. However, it really isn’t like that and this method is even against a human's fetrat or nature. In the US, Denmark, Belgium and many other European countries they suffer from racist problems. These white supremacists believe that their white race is supreme and the purist race from among all the other racists. The American government is really afraid of Islam, especially after the Islamic Revolution because they have witnessed the power of Islam. During the Iran and Iraq War, Saddam Husain promised the US that within a week he will capture Iran. But after some months the New York Times printed in its main header that we shouldn’t challenge the Islamic Revolution of Iran. They realized that they couldn't kill this Islamic wave.
Thank you for your time. Do you have any closing comments or words that you would like to say to the readers?
The first word that was revealed to Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) was Iqra, which means study. I am sure that by studying Muslim and non-Muslim would choose the true Islam and that they will reach what Hazrat Zaynab reached during Ashura. When she was asked about Ashura she said, "Aside from beauty I saw nothing else."
I'm not saying that it's easy and there will be no tests from God. How can there be no tests? God tested Hazrat Zahra (PBUH), the greatest woman in the world. So there isn’t a life without danger and problems, but only the one who will be able to reach true peace is the one who seeks the path to the true Islam and not the progressive Islam or Islam based on one's nafs or carnal desires.